In closing: Good Bye

I wanted to take the opportunity to say good bye to those of you who have read my blogs. I hope you learned something from them and could apply my blogs to this class. I have enjoyed being able to use the knowledge from our readings, lectures, and videos and apply it to both my professional and personal life while writing my blogs.  I wish you all the best.

Sincerely, 

Heather

From Compassionate Ageism to Intergenerational Conflict

In  NPR news: 
In recent weeks I have heard several shows on NPR talking about the following: 

• President's Budget Deficit Commission;
• what's going to happen when the Republicans take over the house; 
• how surveys say American citizens want to do something to reduce our budget deficit, but no one wants their programs or tax's changed; 
• the tax plan that is being hotly debated now and being filibustered as I write this; 
• future cuts to Social Security and Medicare, 
• and how the baby boomers got us into this financial mess and that they may not end up paying any price for their mistakes. 

Baby Boomers: 
The members of the Baby Boomer generation were born between 1946 and 1964, when the United States population grew an estimated 76 million (U.S. Census Bureau, 1996). The first members of the Baby Boomer generation will turn 65 years old in 2011 (Hartman-Stein & Potkanowicz, 2003). By 2030, more than 70 million people will be over the age of sixty-five (Knickman & Snell, 2002). 

American Ideology: The Swinging Pendulum 

With our recurrent recession and federal deficit in the trillions, what are we going to do when we have 70 million baby boomers to take care of? Dr. Binstock in his article, From Compassionate Ageism to Intergenerational Conflict, discusses this same concern. Dr. Binstock begins by discussing the history of American politics. He discusses how we have always struggled with individualism vs. the collective well-being of everyone. Prior to the Great Depression, it was every one for themselves. There was a sense of individual responsibility. Then we saw the development of New Deal programs, Social Security program, Older American's Act, laws to prevent age discrimination, Medicare, and Medicaid. All of a sudden older Americans were a special group who needed to be protected and taken care of by society (Binstock, 2010).
Then the economic downturn in the late 1970's:
Dr. Binstock describes how the ideological pendulum swung back due to the economic downturn in the late 1970s and early1980s. He reports there was once again a focus on individualism, ending big government, including government regulation and welfare programs (sound familiar?). All of a sudden older adults were being portrayed in the media as "greedy geezers" who were doing better than everyone else in society and they were a "growing burden."  There were also concerns about the voting power these older adults had (sound familiar?). There were some who were pinning older adults against children for resources (sound familiar? I heard this at times this past November when our the Elderly Services Program levy was on the ballet. I heard more than once, they don't vote for our school levies, why should we vote for their program (Binstock, 2010)?

Will the future bring intergenerational political conflict?

Dr. Binstock thinks the likelihood and intensity of potential intergenerational political conflict will be shaped by the answers to two questions. The first question he asks is will we have enough national wealth to put into the social programs that help older adults? The second question  is whether our nation's ideology will support having programs that continue to help protect older adults from poverty and illness? What do you think?
Conclusion:
If as a society, we don't help provide health care and financial support to old adults, who will? Their families? The aging system has already changed so much in the fifteen years since I started my career. I can't imagine what it will look like in another fifteen, especially with the baby boomer generation to care for

Binstock R. (2010). From Compassionate Ageism to Intergenerational Conflict. The Gerontologist, 50(5), 574-585. 


Hartman-Stein, P.E. & Edward S. Potkanowict, E.S. (2003) Behavioral Determinants of Healthy Aging. Good News for the Baby Boomer Generation. Online Journal of Issues in Nursing 8(2), 1-26.

              

                Knickman, J. R. & Snell E. K. (2002). The 2030 Problem: Caring for Aging

Baby Boomers. HSR: Health Services Research, 37(4), (849-884).

U.S. Census Bureau. (1996). Population and housing characteristics of babyboomers 26 to 44 years old: 1990. Retrieved from:

http://www.census.gov/population/censusdata/cph-l-160h.txt

Excerpts from research paper. 

What about men?

Have we focused too much on women in this class? I know at times, I felt like I have been a little harsh on men,  especially when I discussed sibling gender differences in regards to caregiving. We have also discussed and read many studies that point out how women tend to be the kin keepers who maintain relationships with family and friends. I have often thought about some of the widowers I have worked with and widowers who are friends. Many of them have gotten themselves into a lot of trouble after becoming a widower: financially, with risky sexual behavior, becoming victims of elder abuse, and by abusing alcohol and other drugs. Here are a few of their stories:

• One client, I'll call Joe, was homeless when I started working with him. Joe described how after his wife passed he became very depressed and went on an ongoing drinking binge and eventually became homeless. Joe was around 85 when I started working with him. Joe walked into our office and asked for help. Fortunately, we had a collaborative relationship and funding with Interfaith Hospitality Network, so I found him short-term shelter until I was able to get him into senior housing. I remember asking him if he wanted to see the apartment and he said, "Mam, any place would be better than under the bushes." Although, he still goes on drinking binges at times and can get himself into a bit of trouble with his buddies still on the streets, he has maintained his senior housing for over three years. I could never talk him into getting help for his alcoholism. 

•  I visited another gentleman after receiving an anonymous call that an elderly man was sick and in his house with no help.  I did a home visit and found an elderly man, I'll call Ben in his early 60s sitting in his recliner all covered up with blankets. His legs were badly swollen with sores and there was a terrible odor from his infected leg and just filth. Ben had some "friends" who helped him at times or until his check ran out. He was being evicted from his home from non-payment of his taxes. After I worked with him for some time, he also described losing everything after his spouse died became he became so depressed. This made him very lonely and unfortunately an easy target for financial exploitation. 

• Another older gentleman who is a friend of my family described going on a spending spree by remodeling his house after his spouse died. He has also been financially exploited by several people (lady friends) due to being so lonely after his wife passed. He also describes being very depressed and even though it has has been almost twenty years since she passed, he still suffers from depression especially around the time of the year she died.

• A younger friend of the family ( a "young" baby boomer) also went on a spending spree remodeling his house after his spouse died. He also went on a "partying" binge and has gotten himself into many relationships trying to cope with loneliness. 

• As you can see from my stories above, being alone and not having a good support system is one of biggest risk factors for older adults to get themselves into abusive situations.

So what can men do when they are widowed to cope with loneliness rather than drinking or getting themselves involved with women who may have questionable motives? Men don't have a "purple hat society" they can join for socialization and support. There are plenty of other men's clubs,  Masons, VFW, American Legion, Elks, Kiwanis, and Jaycees. However, I don't think many men would get involved in these clubs in-later life. Do they? Some of the more successful widowers I have seen get themselves involved with their community, delivering meals on wheels or playing pool with other widowers at their local senior center. (If a senior center wants to draw more men--- I always recommend they get a pool table). One of my male clients goes to the local senior center three times a week and his sons also keep him active. However, at my last home visit he did have a nice collection of liquor bottles in kitchen, so I wonder if he doesn't "tie one on" when he isn't "busy" and feeling a little down.

Why do so many men not maintain ties with family and friends? Just today, I told my husband that I was going to get together with friends in Kentucky for lunch and shopping later this month. He made the comment how he wishes he had more friends and blamed not living in the area where he grew up. He always complains how he felt he was always the one making the effort to keep in touch with old friends and so just stopped. I said if we lived back in PA, he would probably see them less than we do now (3-4x a year) due to everyone being so busy. Men, can you think of ways you can help yourself in the future and ensure you will not be lonely as you get older and may find yourself a widower? Women, what can you do to help your spouses facilitate relationships with those in your community so if something happens to you your spouse will have support, socialization and friendship if you are no longer around?

Dimensions of Grandparent-Adult Grandchild Relationships: From Family Ties to Intergenerational Friendships

Grandchildren should be a blessing and I appreciated how this article and our class discussion pointed out that all Grandparents are not the same. I had a strained relationship with one set of grandparents (my Dad's mom and step-father). According to my mother, they always had the attitude of, "we raised our children" and my parents never helped facilitate my relationship with them. I had a wonderful relationship with my other set of grandparents (my Mom's parents). I feel, if my grandmother Rochester, my mom's mother had not developed Alzheimer's Disease and passed away when I was 27 year's old that we could have had a very close friendship. As I discussed in class, I wouldn't say my grandfather Rochester and I were friends, but he was rather a very important tie to my family genealogy. My husband on the other hand had one living grandmother when he was young and unfortunately that relationship was not too caring. However, he had two great-aunts who became his psuedo-grandparents. Fortunately, I see my son developing a warm and caring relationship with both sets of his grandparents. As we have read in the past and in this article my husband and I have to work to help facilitate this relationship. Parents are the kin-keepers between their children and other members of the family.

The authors of this article looked at the relationship between grandparents and their adult grandchildren.
The grandchildren were 21 years of age or older. The researchers interviewed a total of 37 grandparents and grandchildren. As discussed above, similar to my relationship with both sets of my Grandparents, the researchers found great differences on how the study participants experienced their relationships. However, the researchers pointed out that were also similarities that emerged. The authors found both grandparents and grandchildren felt their relationship was special and different from other family bonds. The relationship represents a tie to the past and future (Kemp, 2005). I know for my mom being with my son has brought back a lot of memories for when she was in the childbearing and pre-school age children stages of the family life cycle.


The authors also discuss how grandparents can also provide social and material means to their grandchildren. This becomes extremely important, especially if  the middle generations has issues, such as divorce, death, incarceration, and problems with addictions. I have several clients raising their young grandchildren due to the above social issues. I just did a home visit yesterday where an adult granddaughter was taking care of her grandmother. She said, "she practically raised me, now I can help her."

A number of the study participants describe their relationship as a "unique intergenerational friendship."
This sense of "friendship" was more evident when the grandparent and grandchild had spent a lot of time together through out the grandchild's life alone without the presence of the middle generation. This bond only became stronger when the grandchild became an adult.

The last area I'll discuss from this study was a sense of obligation felt by some of the grandchildren to spend time with their grandparents. The grandparents did not express a sense of obligation. However, this sense of obligation was also expressed positively by some of the grandchildren. They were happy to be obligated to spend time with their grandparents and some expressed that they enjoyed spending their free time with them.

In conclusion, many factors go into whether you have a positive or "friend-like" relationship with your grandparents.  For instance, did your parents help facilitate the relationship or did your grandparents help your parents raise you through financial assistance, free childcare or by practically raising you? On another note, but kind of related, do you think parents and children may have a more strained relationship if a child chooses not to have children, thus not giving their parents the opportunity to become a grandparent?


Kemp, C. (2005). Dimensions of grandparent-adult grandchild relationships: from family ties to intergenerational friendships. Canadian Journal on Aging, 24(2), 161-177.

Beyond Parental Status: Psychological Well-Being in Middle and Old Age

Famous and not so Famous "Older" Mothers & Fathers 

• John Travolta, 56, and wife Kelly Preston, 48, welcomed their new son Benjamin.

• Meryl Streep had her 4th baby just before her 42nd Birthday.

• Nicole Kidman had her first child at the age of 41.

• Susan Sarandon gave birth at 46.

• This past weekend I went to a friend's house where I met a women who had her second child at 41. She had her first child in her early 20's and she is now in college. She explained how much harder it is to have a child in your forties due to not having as much energy. Her child's father is in his 50s and also admits their son gets away with a lot more than the children they had in their 20's. 

• I hear through the family grapevine that my cousin who will be 50 this year plans to try for his first  child with his wife who is in her 30's in 2011.

 As someone who was not sure if she wanted children and now has a darling, smart and hilarious three year old son to spend time with, I'm happy for anyone, who successfully has children either naturally, with the help of medical intervention or adoption. Hopefully, they have a loving and affectionate relationship with their child over their life course. 

I'm afraid if my husband and I had chosen not to have children we both would have been similar to the childless women & the women who had poor parent-child relationships in the Koropeckyj-Cox study. The childless women & women with a poor relationship with their child reported more loneliness and depression.  Childless women were 3.8 times as likely to be lonely and 3 times as likely to be depressed as mothers with affectionate relationships with their child.  It appears from this study that I may have been more vulnerable to depression and loneliness than my husband if we were child-free. Also, if he continues to have an affectionate relationship with our son, he may be at a lower risk of suffering from loneliness and depression than childless fathers. However, if either of us develops a poor relationship with our son, we may be at an increased risk of depression and unhappiness. This study did not find the number of children the participants related to their well-being. In summary, having our son does not guarantee psychosocial well-being for my husband and me, but if we continue to have a loving and affectionate relationship with our son it will help as we get older (Koropeckyj-Cox 2002). .

 
Koropeckyj-Cox, T. (2002). Beyond parental status: psychological well-being in middle and old age. Journal of Marriage and Family, 64(4), 957-971.

Information about John and Kelly found @:
http://www.popeater.com/2010/11/24/john-travolta-baby-benjamin/

Other famous "older" mother information, found @:
http://www.mothersover40.com/celebrities.html#anchor_138

Almost the end of my blogs quote:)

I always have this quote hanging up in my cubicle or on my office door (when I was fortunate to have an office with a door) as a daily reminder that our elders should always be respected and well cared for:  

"A test to a people is how it behaves toward the old. It is easy to love children. Even tyrants and dictators make a point of being fond of children. But the affection and care for the old, the incurable, the helpless are the true gold mines of a culture." Abraham J. Heschel

Coping strategies for Caregivers

This is a list of caregiving strategies developed by Lela Knox Shanks in 1994. 

Mrs. Shanks cared for her spouse, Hughes who had Alzheimer's Disease. 

1. Reinforce your identity separate from the patient's identity. 
2.  Always move from your center, not the patient's. 
3. Tap into your unused, unlimited inner strengths and creative resources. 
4. Continually acknowledge all feelings, positive and negative, reinforcing positive feelings. 
5. Be responsible and take control. 
6. Get information and get help. 
7. Work out your own plan for surviving whole. 
8. Accept what you cannot change. 
9. Eliminate the words "blame" and "excuse" from your vocabulary. 
10. Make no promises about the future. 
11. Explore and face the worse possible events in your future. 
12. Use respite care regularly for extended blocks of time. 
13. Develop an emotional detachment from your caregiving tasks. 
14. Train yourself to be pro-active rather than reactive. 
15. Enjoy humor regularly. Humor assists the immune system. 
16. Get a support system that works for you. 
17. Be flexible, willing to learn, to adapt, to change and to grow at any age. 
18. Regroove your brain with positive reinforcement. 
19. Develop an exercise regimen of both kinds, body and soul. 
20. Look for small joys.