Dimensions of Grandparent-Adult Grandchild Relationships: From Family Ties to Intergenerational Friendships

Grandchildren should be a blessing and I appreciated how this article and our class discussion pointed out that all Grandparents are not the same. I had a strained relationship with one set of grandparents (my Dad's mom and step-father). According to my mother, they always had the attitude of, "we raised our children" and my parents never helped facilitate my relationship with them. I had a wonderful relationship with my other set of grandparents (my Mom's parents). I feel, if my grandmother Rochester, my mom's mother had not developed Alzheimer's Disease and passed away when I was 27 year's old that we could have had a very close friendship. As I discussed in class, I wouldn't say my grandfather Rochester and I were friends, but he was rather a very important tie to my family genealogy. My husband on the other hand had one living grandmother when he was young and unfortunately that relationship was not too caring. However, he had two great-aunts who became his psuedo-grandparents. Fortunately, I see my son developing a warm and caring relationship with both sets of his grandparents. As we have read in the past and in this article my husband and I have to work to help facilitate this relationship. Parents are the kin-keepers between their children and other members of the family.

The authors of this article looked at the relationship between grandparents and their adult grandchildren.
The grandchildren were 21 years of age or older. The researchers interviewed a total of 37 grandparents and grandchildren. As discussed above, similar to my relationship with both sets of my Grandparents, the researchers found great differences on how the study participants experienced their relationships. However, the researchers pointed out that were also similarities that emerged. The authors found both grandparents and grandchildren felt their relationship was special and different from other family bonds. The relationship represents a tie to the past and future (Kemp, 2005). I know for my mom being with my son has brought back a lot of memories for when she was in the childbearing and pre-school age children stages of the family life cycle.


The authors also discuss how grandparents can also provide social and material means to their grandchildren. This becomes extremely important, especially if  the middle generations has issues, such as divorce, death, incarceration, and problems with addictions. I have several clients raising their young grandchildren due to the above social issues. I just did a home visit yesterday where an adult granddaughter was taking care of her grandmother. She said, "she practically raised me, now I can help her."

A number of the study participants describe their relationship as a "unique intergenerational friendship."
This sense of "friendship" was more evident when the grandparent and grandchild had spent a lot of time together through out the grandchild's life alone without the presence of the middle generation. This bond only became stronger when the grandchild became an adult.

The last area I'll discuss from this study was a sense of obligation felt by some of the grandchildren to spend time with their grandparents. The grandparents did not express a sense of obligation. However, this sense of obligation was also expressed positively by some of the grandchildren. They were happy to be obligated to spend time with their grandparents and some expressed that they enjoyed spending their free time with them.

In conclusion, many factors go into whether you have a positive or "friend-like" relationship with your grandparents.  For instance, did your parents help facilitate the relationship or did your grandparents help your parents raise you through financial assistance, free childcare or by practically raising you? On another note, but kind of related, do you think parents and children may have a more strained relationship if a child chooses not to have children, thus not giving their parents the opportunity to become a grandparent?


Kemp, C. (2005). Dimensions of grandparent-adult grandchild relationships: from family ties to intergenerational friendships. Canadian Journal on Aging, 24(2), 161-177.