This study included a small sample of eight pairs of siblings. The pairs included one brother and one sister per pair. Each sibling pair was caring for at least one aging parent. The researchers of this study did not focus on one primary caregiver, but wanted to interview a brother and sister sibling pair. The researchers wanted to find out more specifics on how adult children and their parents use gender to divide care responsibilities. Data were collected by face-to-face interviews with each sibling.
Almost ninety-five percent of the 16 respondents worked full-time and their average age was 47. Eight were currently married, six were divorced and two were never married. All had children except three and 63% had children over 18. All had at least a high school diploma and most had a bachelors or masters degree. A majority of respondents had a comfortable income. Six of the pairs cared for their aging mother, one for their aging father and only one pair cared for their aging mother and father. Six parents lived alone and the other two parents lived with a child or a spouse. Two of the parents needed help with activities of daily living (ADLs) and all needed help with instrumental activities of daily living (IADLs).
Not surprising to me, the sisters in all sibling pairs took responsibility for coordinating parental care. Interestingly, the authors compare this to the research done on husband and wives. Even if the household tasks are completed equally between husbands and wives, they still find that wives determine what needs done and when.
They did find that in this study four of the brothers perform more traditional roles, such as managing yard work and fixing things around the house and were defined as helper-brothers. The helper-brothers are similar to husbands who assume more of a traditional role for care of their children. The women are responsible to "do it all." The brothers only lend a hand to help if asked and told what and how to do something for their parents.
The remaining four brothers divided up the care more equitably and were defined as co-provider brothers.
The co-provider brothers are active in the care for their parents. The brothers are willing to take on responsibilities that cross traditional gender roles to help his sister and parents. Their sisters also expressed a willingness to share the responsibility to care for their parents together. These brothers also cited having flexible work and family obligations.
Despite some brothers taking on more care for their parent(s), all the sisters provided a wider variety of care for their aging parents and the care provided was gender-specific. The sisters did more "women's work," such as house work and meals preparation and the brothers were responsible for the "men's work," such as yard work and repairs. Women spent more time caring for their parents then their brothers. I never thought about this, but the author's discussed how much more time consuming and never ending the tasks the sister's would perform would be. For instance, laundry and dishes are never ending, but cutting the grass can be done once every couple of weeks.
Another difference between the sisters and brothers that the study showed was how the sisters' planned and thought about their parents' future care. They were more likely to know about their finances and what level of care they could afford. The brothers were more likely to wait until a crisis occurred and didn't want to make decisions for their parents. Planning for their parent's futures is part of the sister's coordination of care responsibilities.
This division of care was mostly unplanned. Interestingly, many of the sibling pairs did not acknowledge that gender played a role in the care they provided to their parents. Another reason given for following gender roles is requests from their parents. A parent from this older generation may be more uncomfortable asking her son to do what was considered "women's work" to her cohort.
I felt immense respect for the sisters who stood up for themselves and said "No" to being the primary caregiver for their parents. They demanded their brothers actively participated and assigned responsibilities. One sister, Phyllis, discussed having to place "limits on her own contributions to care and demanded that her brothers helped." While this was a small sample and it is difficult to make generalizations to all caregivers, I felt it was not irresponsible to say gender plays a huge role in parental caregiving. I hope more women will be like Phyllis and learn to say "No" when it comes to caring for aging parents. It's only fair, more women are working full-time . If we do not start getting more help from the men in our lives, the increased stress is going to have a negative affect on our mental and physical health. If we are aren't here, who's going to coordinate the care of everyone? (Hequembourg & Brallier, 2005)
Hequembourg, A, & Brallier, S. (2005). Gendered stories of parental caregiving among siblings. Journal of Aging Studies, 19, 53-71
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